(A love letter to every new and upcoming mama out there)

Let’s get this out of the way: nothing — and I mean nothing — fully prepares you for motherhood. You can read all the books, watch the vlogs, attend the prenatal classes, and still be caught off guard by the sheer intensity, beauty, and mess of it all.

That being said, I’ve learned some golden nuggets along the way — things I really, really wish I’d known before becoming a mom.

So, in the spirit of sisterhood, here’s my little collection of truths I hope will give you a softer landing into motherhood.

 

 

1. Shop not just for maternity clothes — but for breastfeeding too

 

Why don’t more people talk about this? Like seriously? Yes, yes — we get all excited dressing the bump (I mean, who doesn’t love a good maternity photoshoot or flowy boho dress?), but almost no one emphasizes shopping with breastfeeding in mind.

Sure, I’d heard it in passing, but in the thrill of maternity fashion and belly rubs, I didn’t listen. My wardrobe was full of cute bump-friendly outfits, but when baby came, I was like — how do I nurse in this again? Spoiler alert: some of those adorable outfits became completely useless once the real action (a.k.a. feeding round the clock) started.

So, my dear mama-to-be, if you’re reading this while your bump is bumpin’ — please shop for nursing-friendly clothes too. Get those pretty wrap tops, loose button-downs, and stretchy v-neck dresses that say, “I’m cute and functional.” Thank me later.

 

 

2. Any extra help goes a long way

 

Repeat after me: I do not need to be a super mom. Really, you don’t.

Accept help. Ask for it if you need to. Even if it’s just 15 minutes so you can breathe, sneak in a power nap, respond to a text, take a peaceful shower, or—brace yourself—actually enjoy a hot snack. Those little pockets of time will feel like spa days.

One thing that saved me during those early days? My sister-in-law staying over. She held the baby, and I napped. And those naps? Oh, honey. Glorious. Life-giving.

Let people who love you show up. Don’t deny them the opportunity to be a blessing. You don’t have to carry everything alone. You weren’t meant to.

 

 

 

 

3. Life might slow down a bit — and that’s okay

 

It’s funny how we always imagine having a baby and then somehow getting back to our “normal” routines within weeks. Hah! That version of normal? It takes a back seat for a bit.

Your new pace will involve figuring out this tiny human, feeding them, burping them, changing diapers, trying to sleep (if they allow you), and repeating the cycle.

Don’t fight the slowdown. Prepare for it mentally, even emotionally. The earlier you accept it, the smoother your transition will be.

This new rhythm is temporary, but it’s sacred. It’s where the deepest bonding happens. Soak in those long stares, warm cuddles, and yes — even the messes. Life will pick up again. But for now? Be present.

 

 

4. You’ll get a LOT of advice — filter it

 

Oh boy. The advice avalanche. You will get it from everyone. Your mom. Your friend. Your neighbor. A random mama at the supermarket. Some of it will be so helpful. Some… not so much.

Here’s the thing: people usually mean well. But sometimes, they speak from their own insecurities or experiences, and it may not align with your journey. And that’s okay.

Take what resonates, gently ignore what doesn’t. Trust yourself. You’ll know what feels right for you and your baby. No two families are the same, and there’s no one-size-fits-all script in motherhood.

 

 

 

 

 

5. You’ll figure things out (Yes, even the diaper stuff)

 

One of my big questions before giving birth was, How on earth will I know when to change the diaper? Sounds silly now, but at the time, it was a real anxiety.

Guess what? You’ll just know. You’ll pick up on your baby’s cues — the grunts, the squirming, the mysterious diaper bulge. And you’ll be amazed by how your instincts kick in.

You’ll also learn when your baby needs a feed, when they’re overstimulated, or just want to be held. You’re not expected to know everything right away. But you will learn — and fast.

Also, veteran moms will tell you: even when your baby turns five, ten, or twenty, you’ll still be learning new things about them. Parenting is one long class with no final exam — just infinite growth.

 

 

6. Mom brain is real — and weirdly beautiful

 

You ever look for your phone while you’re holding it? Yup. Welcome to mommy brain.

But hear this beautiful theory a friend once told me: your brain becomes hyper-focused on your baby, which is why you forget other things. It’s nature’s way of helping you prioritize what matters most.

Still, I’ve had to become intentional about writing things down, setting reminders, and putting appointments in my calendar. It helps so much. You’ll find your systems, too.

 

 

7. Mom guilt is very real

 

Ah, mom guilt. The uninvited guest.

The first time my baby slept through the night, I didn’t rejoice — I panicked. I felt bad for not waking her up to feed. Ridiculous, right? But in that moment, it felt so real.

That instinct to always do your best? It’s beautiful. But please be gentle with yourself. You won’t always get it “perfect,” and that’s okay. Babies don’t need perfect moms — they need present ones.

 

 

8. It gets easier (Yes, really)

 

In the early days, everything is new, intense, and a little chaotic. But bit by bit, you start to get your bearings. You recognize the sleepy cues, the hunger fuss, the “I need a cuddle” cry. It clicks. And then one day, you look around and realize — I’m doing it. I’ve got this.

And you do. You really do.

 

 

9. Moms are superheroes (Especially with 2 under 2)

 

I have a whole new respect for mothers. I look back and think of my own mom — traveling upcountry with us, carrying babies and bags at the same time — and I’m like, how?!

 

 

 

 

There’s a strength and patience that seems to bloom the moment your baby is born. I’m not downplaying the amazing role of dads (shout out to the hands-on ones!), but there’s something unique about those first months — the deep, consuming bond between mom and baby.

Fun fact: I read somewhere that babies think of their moms as an extension of themselves in those early months. Isn’t that just wild and heartwarming?

 

 

10. Listen to your instincts (Especially during labor & birth)

 

This one’s tender and personal. Whether it’s knowing when to head to the hospital, choosing a birthing plan, or sensing something off — listen to your gut. Or as I like to say, listen to the Holy Spirit.

That peace? That divine nudge? Trust it. It will guide you in moments when logic doesn’t make sense. And in the end, you’ll rest easier knowing you followed your heart.

***

Motherhood is layered, messy, sacred, stretching, and oh-so-rewarding. These were just some of the things I wish I’d known before my baby came — and I’m sure every mom out there has her own gems.

So, if you’re a mama or an upcoming mama reading this, what do you wish was on this list? I’m curious and would love to hear your heart.

Thanks for reading, mama. You’re doing amazing — even if it doesn’t feel like it every day. 💛