Healthy Ways To Deal With Anger

Someone described anger as the most primitive emotion of human beings.

As we all know countless societal problems come from anger: road rage, domestic violence, tantrums from children, enmity, and murder in extreme cases. I am sure there is more to that list.

Surely there has to be a better way of dealing with anger.

Being a Christian, I am guided by the principles of the Bible and there is one particular one I like referencing when I am in ‘anger situations’.

James 1:19-21

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Let’s figure out how to be more responsive instead of reactive. Because that’s how we almost naturally are, we want to react when we are angry.

Kids who’ve been raised in a typical African home know exactly what I am talking about.

In fact, some people say that when their parents would get angry with them, they would pick the closest thing and hit them with it, it didn’t matter what it was.

Anyway most of us turned out alright.

The good thing is that parents are now very much aware and know they can talk to their children and instill discipline in them, though there is still room for the rod. Oh Yess, there is.

 

So, how do we respond to anger??

 

Be Slow to speak

 

From the verse above, we know that how we talk expresses our emotions and particularly for our topic today, it expresses anger.

I think this is the easiest thing for me. When I am angry, I am naturally silent. But it is the kind of silence that speaks louder than words.

Hey, the Lord is working on me.

The bottom line is being slow to speak will save you a lot of regret.

 

(Btw there is a video for this too)

 

 

 

Where were we? – Slow to speak!!

 

The words we speak when we are frustrated, disappointed, or angry can be pretty nasty! And there is no TAKING THEM BACK!!

So you have to tread carefully. I believe it definitely takes practice.

Start with the people closest to you and before you know it, people will be wondering if you never get angry!!

 

Think of it as spilled milk

 

This is something I have adopted and it’s working alright so far.

This is what I mean. Spilt milk is something that has already happened and there is no going back from that.

If something bad has already been done to you, it’s now technically in the past. You get?

It’s already done, there is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening, even by expressing anger.

I say expressing anger because it’s okay to be angry, we are humans. The way to deal with it and respond to it is what we are aiming to change.

Let’s use a money example, when you take a deal that loses you a good chunk of money, there is nothing you can do now. THE MONEY IS NOW IN NEW HANDS.

Way forward is to figure out how to make better deals in the future.

When I think of something being in the past, it stresses me less.

I guess we can say this point speaks to our mindset.

 

Journaling!!

 

You know this one had to make it to the list…lol

This is something I do too.

I think I should have put a disclaimer at the start that, these are my personal proven recommendations.

Sometimes they are hard to follow but I promise, they work when you practice them.

 

Back to journaling;)

 

 

The thing with journaling is that you can go on and on. I mean the book is yours!!

I have a theory for that. When you have a trauma from your past, talking about it brings you closer and closer to healing.

When you do it, it’s like reliving the memories and it weakens the power it has over you every time.

So with journaling, it’s the same. You relive the ordeal. Be as detailed as you can.

And don’t get scared of it turning into 10 pages, you are allowed.

I know for sure that works because by the time you put the pen down, it’s like you talked to someone, and the weight of the anger has vanished.

 

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Try these next time you are angry. Once you are calm and collected you can talk about it with the person who made you angry.

This is healthier than throwing punches at them, right?

So, how do you deal with anger?